Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Ladies, When 'Popping-A-Squat' Just Isn't Convenient...

The people at Comfort House http://comforthouse.com/comfort/porjah.html have introduced this lovely product called "The Feminal"! It's a portable urinal designed specifically for women. And look, just in case the awkward act of pulling down your pants & trying to hold that thing up to your nether-regions while relieving yourself in traffic on the 405 has left you feeling not so feminine--it comes in pretty purple!! The website states,
" Women, you can stop worring about finding a restroom when you travel with a portable urinal. You won't be forced to use dirty or deserted rest stops when nature calls at inconveinent times. Can be a real lifesaver if your stuck in traffic! The 'Feminal' is designed so that a woman can urinate in a reclined, seated, or standing position. When the 'Feminal' is gently pressed against the body, the unique shape creates a leak-proof seal. Includes cap. 4-cup capacity."
It sells for $ 12.95, or the dueling pissers special, 2 for $ 24.00!!
This kind of reminds me of the time my girlfriend & I took a road trip. Somewhere in the backwoods area of New Mexico, we stopped to get gas & look for a restroom. Off some dirt road we found a gas station in the middle of the night that was open. While pumping gas we noticed a few banjo-strummin' dudes in pickup trucks eyeing us like beef jerkey. Afraid to stay there any longer, we took off down the dirt road aways,pulling over so that I could Pop-A-Squat. While doing so, up the road coming at us was a vehicle. I tried to hurry, especially thinking that those scary dudes were a-comin' for us, but to no avail. Up pulls the vehicle, lights blinding my bare ass, to reveal a police trooper! They shined more lights on me, just in case I wasn't embarrassed enough, & asked , "Are you ladies alright?" Thankfully, they were very nice after I explained myself.
So I guess in a situation such as that, the 'Feminal' might have come in handy. But I think I'll still resort to the old Pop-A-Squat method. And if by chance I come across a nasty restroom facility, I'll just have to implement the craft women have mastered--hovering over the toliet like a UFO! I call this one, Pullin' a UFO. I.E., "Hey babe, this toliet's nasty, your gonna have to pull a UFO!"
I thought the funniest thing about this product on the Comfort House website was that it, "Includes Cap"! Like the cap was an extra gift from the makers! Oh, thanks so much! Now after I humiliate myself by pissing in a purple plastic jar while driving, it won't splash around all over myself or my car! Ingenius!
What will they think of next?