Sunday, March 05, 2006

Down With Dildos?

Ok, when I first read this, I thought it was a joke. But after further review...
Two Tennessee state legislators, Senator Charlotte Burks, & Rep. Eric Swafford, have introduced a bill (Senate Bill 3794/House Bill 3798) that would make it illegal to sell, advertise, publish, or exhibit to another person "any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs..."
If you possess a vibrator with the intent to show it to someone, or offer to show anyone your dildo collection, you would be violating this proposed state law!
There are exceptions to this rule, though. If your a college student or faculty member you are allowed to enter the sex toy trade, as long as they are " teaching our pursuing a course of study related to such device." WHAT? Or if a doctor or psychologist prescribes the regular use of a sex toy "in the course of medical or psychological treatment or care." WHAT?
And, can you believe this bill passed a perfunctory first reading on Monday?
Alright, here's my take on this. First off, Senator Charlotte Burks must not be gettin' any at home. She seems rather bitter about sex, & anything remotely related to it, which confuses me, because I think she could really benefit from the exact same thing she is trying to ban! And for Rep. Eric Swafford, well, he must be having some inadequacy issues & seems rather jealous of the dildo. Just a guess. But any man who is trying to pass a bill to ban dildos seems to be having some issues!
This is so asinine I can't believe it! Do they really want a sexless society? I'd advise against that, for the American people would be severely frustrated & angry people! The crime rate would surely rise, & people would be forced to smuggle dildos from Europe! Imagine having to go on the 'Black Market' or some street corner & when they whisper, "What do you need?", you'll reply, " I need the Jackrabbit". And you will proceed to hide it in your coat pocket, look suspiciously to your left & right, then swiftly walk away!
Something is really wrong with our society if our congress-people have this much time on their hands to whip up these kind of laws!

(via the Nashville Scene)